Alone, By Myself

I’ve been spending a lot of time in the company of people this week.  Surrounding myself with their passion, their humor and their minds.  And it’s been great to get to submerse myself in so many different perspectives and desires.

But all of a sudden tonight, I’m sitting on my couch, and I can’t focus on the book I’m reading.

If you’ve met me in person, you know how strange that is.

But just now, I want the quiet.

I want days of emptiness.  I want weeks of uninterrupted thought.  I want blank spaces of time to simply linger inside my own head and see what comes to light there.

I haven’t been writing, really writing, lately.  First there were the holidays, then there was stress (probably from the holidays), then I had a little mini-kaboom!  And now that’s past and I’m getting back into normal life.  At first I stressed about not writing, but my husband said “take a break”.

And I remember a conversation I had with a close friend where she said (in different, but similar context) “Let yourself miss it.”

Oh, I’m starting to.  And I think it’s better that way.  Sure, I could have forced time throughout the holidays, or pushed myself right back into the fray while I was still feeling the pressure from too many other things.  But I think I needed a real break; I needed to miss it.

Because I recognize this quiet.  It’s the introspection that often comes right before something really great starts to get created.  And as much as I can have a hard time in my own company, this quiet isn’t like that.  It’s open.  Accepting.  Waiting, but not impatiently.  It’s “I’ll let you relax, and when you’re ready, you’ll come to me.”

It won’t be long now, folks.  I can feel it churning in the deeps.  I love this feeling, when I know passion is about to break free and take hold of me.

So, this week I’d like to hear from you: what are you passionate about?  And are you inspired more by the quiet or in the rush of life?

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