Daily Battle

When I’m here, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

Not my co-workers.  Not my friends.  Not my family.  Not my husband.  Sadly, not even God.

Self-confidence begins with SELF.  Something that took me a long time to realize and a much longer time to come to terms with.

I can’t take anyone’s word for it.  I have to believe in myself and there’s no one who can do it for me.  Some have tried over the years, and I thank them for that.  But this is something I have to do.  I wish I could truly see myself through their eyes, have the faith that they do.  But, I suppose then it wouldn’t really be mine, after all.

No one can give it to me if I don’t have it.  Simultaneously, no one can take it away if I do.  Naysayers and detractors have no power over me if I have my own confidence.

And it’s a battle.  I mean every damn day, I have to fight for this.  It doesn’t come easily for me.  Except for a brief, blissfully ignorant period in my childhood, it never has.

Now, I don’t think it ever will.  I’ve come to honestly believe that I am going to have to consistently earn feeling good about myself.  Every day for the rest of my life I have to get in tune with myself and find joy and acceptance from within.

And it’s worth it.

2 thoughts on “Daily Battle

  1. Confidence does have to come from within but remember God is within you and gives you the power you need to make any change. Our challenges in life may be different but we all experience those step out in faith moments when we have to face our doubts.

  2. That’s a good point – sometimes I forget to think about it that way. But, now that you point it out, one of my favorite parts of Elizabeth Gilbert’s book “Eat, Pray, Love” is a mantra: “God dwells within me, as me.”

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